Sunday, July 26, 2009


Mighty Kid Katie Conquers the World!

This day in history is taken from a newspaper report delivered in July 2001.

Brushy-headed Baby Steals Hearts, Drools a Lot

Reporting from Nashville, TN - July 26, 2001

This adorable little baby might look like she's content to merely chew on Biter Biscuits and laze around the house all day, but you'd be mistaken. While Biter Biscuits are definitely on the menu for this rambunctious tot, so are the fingers of her brother, sisters, and parents.

"No, Daddy! YOU NOT EAT MY IFECWEAM!", ordered the young dictator at a recent family gathering.

After being mentored by her older sister, Emmy Tay Fwine, dictator of Canada, the young ruler first implemented her plans for world domination by first conquering the local slide with her indomitable cuteness. She then began a blitzkrieg campaign throughout the playground and, eventually, to the entire backyard. Not content to conquer her own backyard, Katie quickly implemented a strategy to conquer the backyards of neighboring children and, in at least one incident, a neighboring chihuahua.

In this photo, Katie Jo was heard ordering "Tell de peasants dat I am not full. Bwing mo candy or face my anbwidled anger! Oh, and change my diapy."

Although know for her ambitious militarism, Katie also showed an early love for the arts and all things beautiful. "In my kindgom," Katie decreed, "Bwack-eyed Susans will be de national fwower cuz' dey wook wike my eyes. And dey's pwetty too."

After completing the conquest of the Flanders Court subdivision, Katie then moved on to the Bellwood subdivision. "My cuteness shawl pwevail! Now, wet's watch mo Wonderpets."

Katie has adopted many brilliant strategies and tactics, sometimes even stunning herself with their effectiveness. "I wike Sun Tsu a wot. And Patton could put togever a pwetty good awmowed cavawy campaign. But I, pewsonawy, pwefer suckers."

Before Katie closed out this interview by banishing your correspondent to Antarctica for three decades, she grew introspective. "Someday I wiw be in fird gwade and when I am, I wiw be totawy awesome! And I wiw have puppies and kitties and fwogs too!"

Congratulations, Mighty Kid Katie! It's 2009. You're in 3rd Grade. You have puppies, kitties, and frogs. And you are indeed awesome! Happy Birthday!



Friday, July 17, 2009


Sweet Sixteen

What a Beautiful Baby Girl!

All those years ago, I knew that Emily would grow up to be something special. Smart and observant, she didn't talk much as a baby, preferring instead to let her brother speak for her.

She broke hearts everywhere she went - including mine. Maybe it's a dad thing, but the moment she was born, I blurted "Now I've got to worry about her dating!" But I have to say, having a daddy's girl is one of the best things that's ever happened to me.

I love you, Emily! Happy sweet sixteen! You've matured so much and filled my heart with pride over the huge strides you've made.

You rock! Forever yours,



Friday, July 03, 2009


Vancouver, BC

Rachel and I recently had the opportunity to travel to Vancouver, British Columbia where I was speaking at the DevTeach Conference. DevTeach is one of my favorite conferences to speak at and has brought me to Canada many times, though never to the west coast of country. Rachel, on the other hand, hasn't travelled much at all. In fact, this was her third trip by plane and her second out of the country. That passport has really come in handy! In a way though, it's a dream come true for me to be able to take a business trip to a far-away place and to take my lover with me.

Things in Vancouver were very American, but also just different enough to be a little disconcerting. For example, the skyscrapers looked very American at first glance. But something wasn't quite typical about them. Then we put our finger on it. Even though the buildings were truly tall skyscrapers (maybe 40 stories tall), they had balconies all the way up on all sides. Maybe Canadians never jump from tall buildings?

Another example is that the traffic lights are red-yellow-green, just like American lights. However, the lights would unexpectedly start flashing. I thought that the flashing might've been like European and Middle Eastern traffic lights that indicate its time to prepare for the light to change. I asked my Canadian friends about it and it turns out the flashing lights indicates that a pedestrian on the side of the road has pressed the "I wanna cross the road" button. Since a drunken pedestrian might leap out into traffic at any moment, the lights sort'a warn you that you should expect something like that.

We enjoyed a lot of time in the city. Vancouver is really pretty and, in the downtown area, very walkable. We walked down to the waterline where there were a few remarkably huge oceanliners awaiting passengers. We walked along the waters' edge and enjoyed lots of great seafood. The city was modern, clean, well-appointed with bistros, shops, and some really good gelato shops.

My speaking schedule was rather generous. Most of my sessions were delivered in the morning, plus I did quite a bit of work for Quest. But I still had a couple afternoons open for some tourism, while Rachel had a little more time while I worked and spoke at the conference.

One of our two favorite sites in Vancouver were to the Granview Island farmers market. The island was a really nice collection shops, boutiques, and the big ol' farmers market. The farmers market was just like I like them - full of beautiful, hand-made cheeses (Rachel literally swooned), luscious and vividly-colored fresh fruits, nut stalls, olive vendors, and lots of artisans and artists.

There's a bit of backstory to our cheese expedition. Ever since I was a teenage working in Bruno's Deli, where I got to sample freely, I've loved cheeses in every shape, form, and texture. Rachel knew there was something special about me when we were dating and I'd tell her stories of my cheese experiences with a far away, misty look in my eyes. They were exotic experiences, things that Rachel hadn't experienced - havarti, stilton, and manchego.

Once we saw that Costco had many of these wonderful cheeses, we started to try out new and different cheeses. One kind of cheese, we unrapped and ate in a wonderful frenzy before we realized that we'd thrown away the wrapper telling us what the cheese was. What was this wonderful cheese?!? Would we ever find it again? Frequently, Rachel would stare off into the distance, pining for this wonderful mystery cheese. Her unrequited love for the mystery cheese was like something out of the bodace-ripping romance novels of Victorian England. Rachel and I have had a lot of laughs about the forbidden romance of a woman and the cheese she loves. Would she ever be reunited with her long lost love? Yes! In far off Canada! In the Granview Island farmers market! There it was - her lovely cheese - called contenaar. Oh sweet joy, contenaar, we'll never be separated again, unless the budget is a few bucks short and we can't afford that expensive stuff.

Our second favorite excursion in British Columbia was to the Capilano Suspension Bridge. The bridge, the gorge, the river, the waterfalls, and the beautiful douglas fir and frasier fir forest that surrounds the suspension bridge were all extraordinary. The bridge and the gorge were deceptive. They looked high, but you really had no earthly idea how high until you were out on the bridge yourself. And then, with the swaying of the wind, it was suddenly very scary.

Suspension bridges are full of surprises. They dip and sway. They flex in the wind. They shake with your steps. They descend at one end and then rise sharply at the other, sort of like an arc that's inversed. In a way, it's a surprisingly athletic experience to walk such a long suspension bridge because of the sharp descent and then the sharp rise.

I hope you can get an idea of how flippin' high in the air this bridge is. Frankly, it was really scary. Rachel and I both had a moment or two of freak-out out there alone on the bridge. But after the photo ops were done and we stood together surveying this magical visit, it became an overwhelming moment of emotion and bonding. We were lucky - to be together in this amazing place, together and in love - and we knew it.

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